dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
