At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize