I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize