I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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