I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
This gyro tastes like lonliness
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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