Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
When are your genitals available?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
