He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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