Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
