I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
