Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize