We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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