I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
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