I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
