if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
