Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
