I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My bed smells like the plague
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
