Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
