ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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