come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
