evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
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how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
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Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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