if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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