How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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