I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
