He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
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The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
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I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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