Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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