lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize