Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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