I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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