i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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