Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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