i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
