:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
