3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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