How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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