woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
