In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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