But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
