i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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