My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
