We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
