so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
