We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
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How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
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When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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