Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
