After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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