i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
