THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
