Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We left the knife in your bed.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
