Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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