I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
