Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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