just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
