They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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