If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
