Your tits are I can't wait for
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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