Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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