my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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