It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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