I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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