I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My bed smells like the plague
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