Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
